An on going conversation between BrotherNature and
A. Hummingbird, Professional Liar, Storyteller Extraordinaire, concerning A. Hummingbird's 'telling of extraordinary stories':
BN.: Professional Liar, Storyteller Extraordinaire? A.H.: If you can believe that. BN.: Can I believe that? A.H.: Why would you believe anything from a Professional Liar? BN.: Well, anyway, sounds like an interesting profession. A.H.: Oh, it is! It is! BN.: How do you deal with the competition? A.H.: Competition? BN.: Yea, you know, politicians, lawyers, members of the clergy, sports heroes who don't use steroids... A.H.: Ha! Ha! Well, I guess I must confess I am truthful about one thing... BN.: And that is? A.H.: And that is I am at least up front and truthful about the fact that I lie! I feel it's that what makes me a true 'professional'! BN.: How long have you been in this 'profession'? A.H. Ever since I first got caught with my hands in the cookie jar. BN.: What happened? A.H.: Before I was able to make off with a single cookie, I was confronted by an ogre who claimed to be my dad. I was fooled at first, but, from the way he was grunting I knew it was really an ogre! BN.: Let me guess, you escaped the ogre by telling an extraordinary lie? A.H.: I forthrightly explained, in great detail, how all the cookies in the jar rightfully belonged to the ogre, and that I, as an obedient subservient minion, duly concerned that the sovereignty of the Ogre over the cookies be properly maintained, was only taking a count of said cookies in order to make sure none were missing; as I had noted upon my sisters pillow, and stuck in the corners of her mouth earlier that same morning, a few suspicious crumbs. BN.: What was the ogre's response? A.H.: He said that he would withhold his wrath if I promised, upon my becoming an author of some sort, as he was sure I was obviously destined to become due to my burgeoning ability for telling 'whoppers', would restrain from revealing in the public sphere any of his 'secrets' if it ever came to pass that I found within myself the desire to write a memoir of some sort. BN.: Any plans for writing a memoir? A.H.: Nah, not my style. BN.: What is your style? A.H.: Extraordinary Storytelling. BN.: Oh, right. So, what makes your storytelling extraordinary? A.H.: Perhaps one could say it's what 'hides' in-between the lines. BN.: What 'hides' between the lines? A.H.: Our selves! And God! BN.: God? A.H.: Sure, I think it's okay to say that; Or, maybe it's better to say hints of God, for how can any thing of God be expressed in words? Maybe I can say it like this: What is between the lines of my stories, are our selves: both 'good' and 'not so good', along with Hints of the Reality of God, and the 'tension' of our 'good' and 'not so good' selves with one another and the Reality of God; the purpose of which is so that a particular 'self', among our 'good' and 'not so good' 'selves', if interested, my come to have a clue as to how to go about securing for itself an Abiding Sustaining Relationship, Forever More, with the Reality of God. You know, that what has been done throughout religious/spiritual history, in obscured revelation, or allegory, via myth, legend, parable, teaching-tales, etc. and what I call extraordinary storytelling. BN.: So your craft of extraordinary storytelling uses, if I am understanding you, obscured revelation, or allegory, to tell or remind us of something about ourselves... and a possible relationship we can have with God. Why obscure the revelation? Why allegory? Why not just reveal straightforwardly what it is you have to say or remind us of? A.H.: Have you ever labored through the reading of a 'straightforward' revelation of your average technical manual? How dull and boring! And what is ever retained by such 'straightforward' revelations? This craft of extraordinary storytelling did not originate with me, but as I said, has been a world wide revered and honored method of helping folks towards gaining some understanding of themselves and their Relationship with God since anyone can even remember. Hey, how about I tell you a tale that 'hints' as to the origins of the craft of Extraordinary Storytelling which, by the way, in its original conception and early actualization, according to a trusted source, was one of the first true forms of Art, and may help you to understand at least one important reason why extraordinary storytellers sometimes 'obscure' their 'revelations'...
...As it happened: a way long time ago, for the benefit of all sensitive striving two-legged beings to arise upon our Precious Planet: Ms. Gaia, and for the benefit to Ms. Gaia Herself, along with all Her attendant Flora and Fauna, as well as Her Brother and Sister Cosmic Formations, there was a gathering of no longer young and not yet dead, wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings.
Those wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings had gathered themselves together because they were duly concerned with the challenge of the preservation and subsequent passing down to the next, and even unto unknowable remote generations of sensitive striving two-legged beings like themselves, who, due to a certain well known and exercised physiological proclivity were sure to keep on arising upon our Planet for much of their foreseeable and unforeseeable future, all the Wisdom and Learning that had been individually and collectively gained, through all sorts of inner and outer trials and tribulations, concerning the diligently sought out and, Received, answers to the quite perturbing questions of the meaning of it all; that is: of Life, of Love, of the Cosmos, of the Self, and of the Creation of all the above. Those very questions and Received answers which were both the causes and ensuing results of these wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings truly being wise and learned and loving two-legged beings who strive sensitively.
They were all deeply aware of the Magical and quite Powerful, within its Cosmically Lawful range, Potency within all sentient two-legged beings, and how this Magical Potency had beat a hasty retreat -due to an unforeseen cosmic 'blunder', of local origin, the full explanation of which is a bit too complex to go into at this time, and which, sadly, did result in a 'disinclination' so to speak, to be able to Receive- into a submerged 'hiding place' well below the 'conscious' awareness of all, well, perhaps not all, but most definitely the greater majority of sensitive striving two-legged beings such as themselves, and that unless this Magical Potency were awakened and brought out into the open where it could once again Receive, and thereby be Guided by That what is Received, in proper fashion, to a proper maturity, all sorts of personal and collective cacophonous results, quite dissonant to the Ever-Striving Harmonious Orchestration and Maintenance of All that Exists, would be sure to arise causing a collective situation on our Blessed Mother Gaia of a cosmic calamitous order, perhaps best described as very woeful and very pitiful and quite full of all sorts of lamentations.
So, in order to try and avoid or at least mitigate such calamitous results, these wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings began to contemplate and ponder amongst themselves and to present to one another various inventions and methods for the transmission of their Wisdoms and Learnings concerning the meaning of it all unto their fellow sensitive striving two-legged beings and their collective descendants. Naturally, for the sake of expediency, they undertook to employ a straightforward means of transmission, in the forms of technical manuals and literal historical records documenting the how comes and why fors of their Wisdoms and Learnings, scribed by various special means onto special parchments, and onto other specially prepared objects such as slabs of stone, potteries, jewelry, and even carved into various 'knick-knacks' and 'brick-a-bracks' made of readily available materials such as leather, bone and wood.
When all their Wisdoms and Learnings had been transcribed in such a fashion and duly installed in the nooks and crannies within those gathering places of worship regularly frequented by the inhabitants of the various villages, towns, hamlets, and big cities that existed at that time, it was forthrightly made mandatory for all those sensitive striving two-legged beings who were the 'leaders of the flock', as some today still put it, to familiarize themselves with these scribed Wisdoms and Learnings, then memorize and pass down through rousing sermons unto their congregations all those wise and well thought out Wisdoms and Learnings. But, Ho, ho, ho! Even before the arising of the very first succeeding generation, such misconstrued malformed maligned misconceptions of the Wisdoms and Learnings of those wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings were being bandied about, that there began to arise results of such a nature that the situation of individual and communal and even cosmic existence was worse than if no attempt at all had been made to pass on to their fellows those important and vital Wisdoms and Learnings! The no longer young and not yet dead wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings gathered, with some urgency, themselves together again to discuss this newly arisen unforeseen situation so disastrous for the common good.
Now, due to the fact that many of these well intentioned wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings spent a great deal of time alone in their respective laboratories and studies, most of which were located in underground catacombs as well as in the penthouses of ivory towers, well sequestered from relations of a common everyday character with their fellow sensitive striving two-legged beings, they had over looked more than one important and 'damning traits' shared among all not so wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings such as the rest of us. These certain 'damning traits', can and do, on the one hand: manifest in the whats hows and so's a given sensitive striving two-legged being will hear and believe what ever information comes their way; and on the other hand: the so's, whats and hows a given sensitive striving two-legged being will share with another their knowledge, understandings, beliefs and/or opinions of the same information.
The effects and affects of these 'damning traits', to his praise and our collective benefit, was shared and elucidated upon by one of those wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings at that emergency gathering of theirs, and whose area of expertise was what we today might call: psycho-sociology. As a solution to their collective dilemma, this wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged being was the very first to suggest that means that has been employed ever since for the more or less accurate transmission of Wisdom and Learning that this tale of mine is all about.
So, at this gathering of theirs, this wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged psycho-sociologist, whose name escapes me, explained such to his colleagues:
"Friends and Fellows, Foreigners and Countrymen alike, and, also, of course, all you lovely Countrywomen... As you all are well aware, quite contrary to our kind intentions to provide a service for the common good, by sharing with all who have and who have yet to arise and grow and move to and fro hither and tither on our Precious Planet, the various Wisdoms and Learnings painstakingly gained by us as to the whats hows and whys of proper individual and collective living in right rhythmic accordance with the Great Common Harmonic Orchestration, Development, and Maintenance of All that Exists, sadly have been turned into a real indigestible mish-mash by our fellow not so wise or learned or loving sensitive striving beings, with rapidly arising results of such a nature that it is doubtful whether or not we will survive as a species past even the next generation; not only because of the insane treatments currently being inflicted upon one another because of this mish-mash, but, also resulting in part from the same mish-mash, the almost too sad to mention violent and unnecessary sufferings occurring and increasing with alarming rate to all our companion beings with whom we share this Planet, that is, the flora and fauna, and the mineral people, and even the elemental folks, the healthy co-existence of which is most necessary for us sensitive striving two-legged beings being able to survive at all upon this our Beloved Mother Gaia.
"How in the world, we must all here be asking ourselves, have such dire events come to pass, especially as our personal and collective good intentions were naught but to pave a smooth road right to the proverbial heavenly gates?!
"Well, my compassionate compatriots, hear and duly note that through my thorough studies, contemplations and ponderations on this very question, I have happened upon and since soundly verified through countless experimentations a perturbing phenomenon that, though I have determined with out doubt its existence, I have yet to fully explain to myself the cause of its arising.
"This phenomenon, my esteemed colleagues, is the impossibility, I correct myself, the absolute impossibility, that a truth can be shared with any sort of accuracy between more than two, or maybe three, five perhaps but never more than twelve given persons, at any given time." This statement by that wise, learned and loving sentient two-legged being caused quite a stir among those present, and it took a number of strikes of the gavel by the sergeant-at-arms to bring them to order. That wise, learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged being then continued so,
"I know, I know it is difficult to believe my brethren, but I have verified by repeated experiments the validity of this perturbing phenomenon. And, for your edification, I have prepared for you an experiment such as I have used upon numerous occasions to prove without doubt the truth that the truth can never be accurately shared by more than two or maybe three, five perhaps but definitely never more than twelve individuals." And that wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged being, after writing something down and putting it in his pocket, walked from the podium behind which he was speaking, to the first row of seats. He addressed the audience with,
"I shall tell to this person that which I have written down on this piece of paper now in my pocket, and which is a truth well known to all of us." He then leaned over and whispered what he had written into the ear of that colleague of his who occupied the first seat of that first row... Well, I can't remember exactly what he whispered but it was something like: "The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain." He then instructed this colleague to repeat the truth that had been told him to the person next to him, instructing that one to do likewise, and so on and so forth. That wise learned and loving sentient two-legged being then casually walked to the rear of the auditorium and stood patiently next to the person in the last seat of the last row.
Well, by and by, what was told to the first person in the first row made its way to the last person in the last row, and that wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged psycho-sociologist had that colleague of his write on a separate piece of paper that 'truth' passed on to him exactly as he heard it. He then took this paper from his colleague and casually made his way back to the stage and took his place behind the podium. He took out the original piece of paper upon which was written the original message and compared it to that which had been written down by that colleague of his who occupied the last seat of the last row. That wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged being shook his head, and, looking over the rim of his glasses at the audience addressed them so,
"Tch, tch, tch...it is as I suspected. This, my esteemed colleagues is the truth I spoke to our esteemed colleague who sits there in that first seat of the first row: 'The rains in Spain fall mainly on the plain.' And, this... is what was written down of what had reached that colleague of ours who sits there in the last seat of the last row: 'Yo momma is a big fat pain in the neck!?' A wave of agitated murmurs arose and crested into a crescendo of moans and groans as those gathered together in that auditorium lamented over the fact that if not even wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings such as themselves be able to accurately pass on a well known truth, how in the seven worlds could it be expected that those not so wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings who make up the rest of society be able to do so?! No wonder such a lamentable state of affairs had arisen!
Again, it took quite a few strikes of the gavel by the sergeant-at-arms to bring the assembly back to order. That wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged being whose area of expertise was psycho-sociology, again addressed his colleagues,
"Please people, please... I shall ask you to bear with me as I conduct for your collective edification another experiment. I shall now write down an obvious lie..." And he wrote down on a piece of paper the lie, and again approached the person who sat in the first seat of the first row, he leaned to his ear and whispered the obvious lie, 'My own dear, sweet mother, is a pain in the neck.' Then, giving instructions as before, he walked casually to rear of the auditorium and stood next to the person who sat in the last seat of the last row; and once the obvious lie had reached him, had him write it down. That wise and learned and loving sentient two-legged psycho-sociologist then returned to the podium where he compared what had been written with the original lie. He looked at the audience with a sly smile and spoke so,
"This, ladies and gentlemen, is the original, obvious lie I spoke to our colleague there in the first row: 'My own dear, sweet mother, is a pain in the neck.' and, this is what reached our colleague there in the last row: 'My wife's dear, sweet mother is an absolute pain in the ass.'
"Note, my esteemed colleagues that although the two statements are not exactly alike, they are close enough to be considered approximate to one another, and, therefore can be easily reconciled with one another by employing a bit of Wisdom and a handful of Natural Common Sense to make the appropriate correction. So, now, you have seen and experienced for yourselves that which I had verified through countless painstaking experiments before, and that is: for some really weird reason a truth can never be shared accurately between two, maybe three, five perhaps, but never more than twelve sentient two-legged beings even if they happen to be as wise and learned and loving as us. But, as for a lie being shared more or less accurately... Well, you have seen for your selves!
"Now, my compassionate compatriots, listen to this wonderful idea of mine by which we shall be able to approximate our righteous aim of passing down to remote generations our collective Wisdoms and Learnings that our fellow not so wise and learned and loving sentient two-legged beings may have a real shot at Receiving and thereby gaining for themselves an actual meaningful and peaceful and harmonious and happy communal existence on this our Precious Planet, as well as in the Afterlife..."
And that wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged psycho-sociologist then presented his two part plan: the first of which was the 'enshrouding', by a special technique of 'symbol-isms', within an obvious lie or lies, a definite truth or truths, that these definite truths might reach remote generations with as little distortion as possible, easily corrected as long as there were wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings around to ferret out the hidden truths and make the necessary common sense corrections to any distortion that may have, and are even fated, by some weird law, to occur; and the second part was a means of direct face-to-face oral transmissions, from 'Wise Elder' to 'Accomplished Initiate', if you will, generation by generation, of the truth or truths hidden within the lie or lies by that special means of 'symbol-isms', with the hope that at all times, somewhere on the planet, would be a wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged being around to help in the 'ferreting out' of the 'hidden' truth or truths.
And so, there in that auditorium where they were gathered for our very benefit, though they knew not who or how or even where we would arise and strive to Be, those wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings heard from their esteemed colleague the very first extraordinary story which was an obvious lie, but, none the less, did and still does contain some important truths, enshrouded in 'symbol-isms', most necessary for us in this very day and age, that may, if we are lucky enough to meet and 'catch a clue' from a 'Wise One who Knows', and ourselves are patient and diligent enough to employ such 'clues' to ferret out such hidden truths, gain for ourselves potent Understandings of how to employ the various 'Ways' and 'Means' discovered and bequeathed unto us that we might become ourselves able to, Receive, life abundant and achieve an actual meaningful and peaceful and harmonious existence of Great Communal, Planetary, and even Cosmic, Happiness; here and now, and in the 'Afterlife'.
BN.: Ha! That was funny, and very telling. Now I want to know what the first extraordinary story was. A.H.: Well, according to some sources it had something to do with a planetary formation taking place within half a fortnight, and some naked people in a garden confused about what they were going to have for lunch being conned by a... I think it was a giant anaconda or something like that. BN.: Hmmm.... Didn't know where you were going to go with that, but, gives me something to chew on doesn't it? A.H.: Chew away my brother!
A. Hummingbird, Professional Liar, Storyteller Extraordinaire, concerning A. Hummingbird's 'telling of extraordinary stories':
BN.: Professional Liar, Storyteller Extraordinaire? A.H.: If you can believe that. BN.: Can I believe that? A.H.: Why would you believe anything from a Professional Liar? BN.: Well, anyway, sounds like an interesting profession. A.H.: Oh, it is! It is! BN.: How do you deal with the competition? A.H.: Competition? BN.: Yea, you know, politicians, lawyers, members of the clergy, sports heroes who don't use steroids... A.H.: Ha! Ha! Well, I guess I must confess I am truthful about one thing... BN.: And that is? A.H.: And that is I am at least up front and truthful about the fact that I lie! I feel it's that what makes me a true 'professional'! BN.: How long have you been in this 'profession'? A.H. Ever since I first got caught with my hands in the cookie jar. BN.: What happened? A.H.: Before I was able to make off with a single cookie, I was confronted by an ogre who claimed to be my dad. I was fooled at first, but, from the way he was grunting I knew it was really an ogre! BN.: Let me guess, you escaped the ogre by telling an extraordinary lie? A.H.: I forthrightly explained, in great detail, how all the cookies in the jar rightfully belonged to the ogre, and that I, as an obedient subservient minion, duly concerned that the sovereignty of the Ogre over the cookies be properly maintained, was only taking a count of said cookies in order to make sure none were missing; as I had noted upon my sisters pillow, and stuck in the corners of her mouth earlier that same morning, a few suspicious crumbs. BN.: What was the ogre's response? A.H.: He said that he would withhold his wrath if I promised, upon my becoming an author of some sort, as he was sure I was obviously destined to become due to my burgeoning ability for telling 'whoppers', would restrain from revealing in the public sphere any of his 'secrets' if it ever came to pass that I found within myself the desire to write a memoir of some sort. BN.: Any plans for writing a memoir? A.H.: Nah, not my style. BN.: What is your style? A.H.: Extraordinary Storytelling. BN.: Oh, right. So, what makes your storytelling extraordinary? A.H.: Perhaps one could say it's what 'hides' in-between the lines. BN.: What 'hides' between the lines? A.H.: Our selves! And God! BN.: God? A.H.: Sure, I think it's okay to say that; Or, maybe it's better to say hints of God, for how can any thing of God be expressed in words? Maybe I can say it like this: What is between the lines of my stories, are our selves: both 'good' and 'not so good', along with Hints of the Reality of God, and the 'tension' of our 'good' and 'not so good' selves with one another and the Reality of God; the purpose of which is so that a particular 'self', among our 'good' and 'not so good' 'selves', if interested, my come to have a clue as to how to go about securing for itself an Abiding Sustaining Relationship, Forever More, with the Reality of God. You know, that what has been done throughout religious/spiritual history, in obscured revelation, or allegory, via myth, legend, parable, teaching-tales, etc. and what I call extraordinary storytelling. BN.: So your craft of extraordinary storytelling uses, if I am understanding you, obscured revelation, or allegory, to tell or remind us of something about ourselves... and a possible relationship we can have with God. Why obscure the revelation? Why allegory? Why not just reveal straightforwardly what it is you have to say or remind us of? A.H.: Have you ever labored through the reading of a 'straightforward' revelation of your average technical manual? How dull and boring! And what is ever retained by such 'straightforward' revelations? This craft of extraordinary storytelling did not originate with me, but as I said, has been a world wide revered and honored method of helping folks towards gaining some understanding of themselves and their Relationship with God since anyone can even remember. Hey, how about I tell you a tale that 'hints' as to the origins of the craft of Extraordinary Storytelling which, by the way, in its original conception and early actualization, according to a trusted source, was one of the first true forms of Art, and may help you to understand at least one important reason why extraordinary storytellers sometimes 'obscure' their 'revelations'...
...As it happened: a way long time ago, for the benefit of all sensitive striving two-legged beings to arise upon our Precious Planet: Ms. Gaia, and for the benefit to Ms. Gaia Herself, along with all Her attendant Flora and Fauna, as well as Her Brother and Sister Cosmic Formations, there was a gathering of no longer young and not yet dead, wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings.
Those wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings had gathered themselves together because they were duly concerned with the challenge of the preservation and subsequent passing down to the next, and even unto unknowable remote generations of sensitive striving two-legged beings like themselves, who, due to a certain well known and exercised physiological proclivity were sure to keep on arising upon our Planet for much of their foreseeable and unforeseeable future, all the Wisdom and Learning that had been individually and collectively gained, through all sorts of inner and outer trials and tribulations, concerning the diligently sought out and, Received, answers to the quite perturbing questions of the meaning of it all; that is: of Life, of Love, of the Cosmos, of the Self, and of the Creation of all the above. Those very questions and Received answers which were both the causes and ensuing results of these wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings truly being wise and learned and loving two-legged beings who strive sensitively.
They were all deeply aware of the Magical and quite Powerful, within its Cosmically Lawful range, Potency within all sentient two-legged beings, and how this Magical Potency had beat a hasty retreat -due to an unforeseen cosmic 'blunder', of local origin, the full explanation of which is a bit too complex to go into at this time, and which, sadly, did result in a 'disinclination' so to speak, to be able to Receive- into a submerged 'hiding place' well below the 'conscious' awareness of all, well, perhaps not all, but most definitely the greater majority of sensitive striving two-legged beings such as themselves, and that unless this Magical Potency were awakened and brought out into the open where it could once again Receive, and thereby be Guided by That what is Received, in proper fashion, to a proper maturity, all sorts of personal and collective cacophonous results, quite dissonant to the Ever-Striving Harmonious Orchestration and Maintenance of All that Exists, would be sure to arise causing a collective situation on our Blessed Mother Gaia of a cosmic calamitous order, perhaps best described as very woeful and very pitiful and quite full of all sorts of lamentations.
So, in order to try and avoid or at least mitigate such calamitous results, these wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings began to contemplate and ponder amongst themselves and to present to one another various inventions and methods for the transmission of their Wisdoms and Learnings concerning the meaning of it all unto their fellow sensitive striving two-legged beings and their collective descendants. Naturally, for the sake of expediency, they undertook to employ a straightforward means of transmission, in the forms of technical manuals and literal historical records documenting the how comes and why fors of their Wisdoms and Learnings, scribed by various special means onto special parchments, and onto other specially prepared objects such as slabs of stone, potteries, jewelry, and even carved into various 'knick-knacks' and 'brick-a-bracks' made of readily available materials such as leather, bone and wood.
When all their Wisdoms and Learnings had been transcribed in such a fashion and duly installed in the nooks and crannies within those gathering places of worship regularly frequented by the inhabitants of the various villages, towns, hamlets, and big cities that existed at that time, it was forthrightly made mandatory for all those sensitive striving two-legged beings who were the 'leaders of the flock', as some today still put it, to familiarize themselves with these scribed Wisdoms and Learnings, then memorize and pass down through rousing sermons unto their congregations all those wise and well thought out Wisdoms and Learnings. But, Ho, ho, ho! Even before the arising of the very first succeeding generation, such misconstrued malformed maligned misconceptions of the Wisdoms and Learnings of those wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings were being bandied about, that there began to arise results of such a nature that the situation of individual and communal and even cosmic existence was worse than if no attempt at all had been made to pass on to their fellows those important and vital Wisdoms and Learnings! The no longer young and not yet dead wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings gathered, with some urgency, themselves together again to discuss this newly arisen unforeseen situation so disastrous for the common good.
Now, due to the fact that many of these well intentioned wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings spent a great deal of time alone in their respective laboratories and studies, most of which were located in underground catacombs as well as in the penthouses of ivory towers, well sequestered from relations of a common everyday character with their fellow sensitive striving two-legged beings, they had over looked more than one important and 'damning traits' shared among all not so wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings such as the rest of us. These certain 'damning traits', can and do, on the one hand: manifest in the whats hows and so's a given sensitive striving two-legged being will hear and believe what ever information comes their way; and on the other hand: the so's, whats and hows a given sensitive striving two-legged being will share with another their knowledge, understandings, beliefs and/or opinions of the same information.
The effects and affects of these 'damning traits', to his praise and our collective benefit, was shared and elucidated upon by one of those wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings at that emergency gathering of theirs, and whose area of expertise was what we today might call: psycho-sociology. As a solution to their collective dilemma, this wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged being was the very first to suggest that means that has been employed ever since for the more or less accurate transmission of Wisdom and Learning that this tale of mine is all about.
So, at this gathering of theirs, this wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged psycho-sociologist, whose name escapes me, explained such to his colleagues:
"Friends and Fellows, Foreigners and Countrymen alike, and, also, of course, all you lovely Countrywomen... As you all are well aware, quite contrary to our kind intentions to provide a service for the common good, by sharing with all who have and who have yet to arise and grow and move to and fro hither and tither on our Precious Planet, the various Wisdoms and Learnings painstakingly gained by us as to the whats hows and whys of proper individual and collective living in right rhythmic accordance with the Great Common Harmonic Orchestration, Development, and Maintenance of All that Exists, sadly have been turned into a real indigestible mish-mash by our fellow not so wise or learned or loving sensitive striving beings, with rapidly arising results of such a nature that it is doubtful whether or not we will survive as a species past even the next generation; not only because of the insane treatments currently being inflicted upon one another because of this mish-mash, but, also resulting in part from the same mish-mash, the almost too sad to mention violent and unnecessary sufferings occurring and increasing with alarming rate to all our companion beings with whom we share this Planet, that is, the flora and fauna, and the mineral people, and even the elemental folks, the healthy co-existence of which is most necessary for us sensitive striving two-legged beings being able to survive at all upon this our Beloved Mother Gaia.
"How in the world, we must all here be asking ourselves, have such dire events come to pass, especially as our personal and collective good intentions were naught but to pave a smooth road right to the proverbial heavenly gates?!
"Well, my compassionate compatriots, hear and duly note that through my thorough studies, contemplations and ponderations on this very question, I have happened upon and since soundly verified through countless experimentations a perturbing phenomenon that, though I have determined with out doubt its existence, I have yet to fully explain to myself the cause of its arising.
"This phenomenon, my esteemed colleagues, is the impossibility, I correct myself, the absolute impossibility, that a truth can be shared with any sort of accuracy between more than two, or maybe three, five perhaps but never more than twelve given persons, at any given time." This statement by that wise, learned and loving sentient two-legged being caused quite a stir among those present, and it took a number of strikes of the gavel by the sergeant-at-arms to bring them to order. That wise, learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged being then continued so,
"I know, I know it is difficult to believe my brethren, but I have verified by repeated experiments the validity of this perturbing phenomenon. And, for your edification, I have prepared for you an experiment such as I have used upon numerous occasions to prove without doubt the truth that the truth can never be accurately shared by more than two or maybe three, five perhaps but definitely never more than twelve individuals." And that wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged being, after writing something down and putting it in his pocket, walked from the podium behind which he was speaking, to the first row of seats. He addressed the audience with,
"I shall tell to this person that which I have written down on this piece of paper now in my pocket, and which is a truth well known to all of us." He then leaned over and whispered what he had written into the ear of that colleague of his who occupied the first seat of that first row... Well, I can't remember exactly what he whispered but it was something like: "The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain." He then instructed this colleague to repeat the truth that had been told him to the person next to him, instructing that one to do likewise, and so on and so forth. That wise learned and loving sentient two-legged being then casually walked to the rear of the auditorium and stood patiently next to the person in the last seat of the last row.
Well, by and by, what was told to the first person in the first row made its way to the last person in the last row, and that wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged psycho-sociologist had that colleague of his write on a separate piece of paper that 'truth' passed on to him exactly as he heard it. He then took this paper from his colleague and casually made his way back to the stage and took his place behind the podium. He took out the original piece of paper upon which was written the original message and compared it to that which had been written down by that colleague of his who occupied the last seat of the last row. That wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged being shook his head, and, looking over the rim of his glasses at the audience addressed them so,
"Tch, tch, tch...it is as I suspected. This, my esteemed colleagues is the truth I spoke to our esteemed colleague who sits there in that first seat of the first row: 'The rains in Spain fall mainly on the plain.' And, this... is what was written down of what had reached that colleague of ours who sits there in the last seat of the last row: 'Yo momma is a big fat pain in the neck!?' A wave of agitated murmurs arose and crested into a crescendo of moans and groans as those gathered together in that auditorium lamented over the fact that if not even wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings such as themselves be able to accurately pass on a well known truth, how in the seven worlds could it be expected that those not so wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings who make up the rest of society be able to do so?! No wonder such a lamentable state of affairs had arisen!
Again, it took quite a few strikes of the gavel by the sergeant-at-arms to bring the assembly back to order. That wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged being whose area of expertise was psycho-sociology, again addressed his colleagues,
"Please people, please... I shall ask you to bear with me as I conduct for your collective edification another experiment. I shall now write down an obvious lie..." And he wrote down on a piece of paper the lie, and again approached the person who sat in the first seat of the first row, he leaned to his ear and whispered the obvious lie, 'My own dear, sweet mother, is a pain in the neck.' Then, giving instructions as before, he walked casually to rear of the auditorium and stood next to the person who sat in the last seat of the last row; and once the obvious lie had reached him, had him write it down. That wise and learned and loving sentient two-legged psycho-sociologist then returned to the podium where he compared what had been written with the original lie. He looked at the audience with a sly smile and spoke so,
"This, ladies and gentlemen, is the original, obvious lie I spoke to our colleague there in the first row: 'My own dear, sweet mother, is a pain in the neck.' and, this is what reached our colleague there in the last row: 'My wife's dear, sweet mother is an absolute pain in the ass.'
"Note, my esteemed colleagues that although the two statements are not exactly alike, they are close enough to be considered approximate to one another, and, therefore can be easily reconciled with one another by employing a bit of Wisdom and a handful of Natural Common Sense to make the appropriate correction. So, now, you have seen and experienced for yourselves that which I had verified through countless painstaking experiments before, and that is: for some really weird reason a truth can never be shared accurately between two, maybe three, five perhaps, but never more than twelve sentient two-legged beings even if they happen to be as wise and learned and loving as us. But, as for a lie being shared more or less accurately... Well, you have seen for your selves!
"Now, my compassionate compatriots, listen to this wonderful idea of mine by which we shall be able to approximate our righteous aim of passing down to remote generations our collective Wisdoms and Learnings that our fellow not so wise and learned and loving sentient two-legged beings may have a real shot at Receiving and thereby gaining for themselves an actual meaningful and peaceful and harmonious and happy communal existence on this our Precious Planet, as well as in the Afterlife..."
And that wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged psycho-sociologist then presented his two part plan: the first of which was the 'enshrouding', by a special technique of 'symbol-isms', within an obvious lie or lies, a definite truth or truths, that these definite truths might reach remote generations with as little distortion as possible, easily corrected as long as there were wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings around to ferret out the hidden truths and make the necessary common sense corrections to any distortion that may have, and are even fated, by some weird law, to occur; and the second part was a means of direct face-to-face oral transmissions, from 'Wise Elder' to 'Accomplished Initiate', if you will, generation by generation, of the truth or truths hidden within the lie or lies by that special means of 'symbol-isms', with the hope that at all times, somewhere on the planet, would be a wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged being around to help in the 'ferreting out' of the 'hidden' truth or truths.
And so, there in that auditorium where they were gathered for our very benefit, though they knew not who or how or even where we would arise and strive to Be, those wise and learned and loving sensitive striving two-legged beings heard from their esteemed colleague the very first extraordinary story which was an obvious lie, but, none the less, did and still does contain some important truths, enshrouded in 'symbol-isms', most necessary for us in this very day and age, that may, if we are lucky enough to meet and 'catch a clue' from a 'Wise One who Knows', and ourselves are patient and diligent enough to employ such 'clues' to ferret out such hidden truths, gain for ourselves potent Understandings of how to employ the various 'Ways' and 'Means' discovered and bequeathed unto us that we might become ourselves able to, Receive, life abundant and achieve an actual meaningful and peaceful and harmonious existence of Great Communal, Planetary, and even Cosmic, Happiness; here and now, and in the 'Afterlife'.
BN.: Ha! That was funny, and very telling. Now I want to know what the first extraordinary story was. A.H.: Well, according to some sources it had something to do with a planetary formation taking place within half a fortnight, and some naked people in a garden confused about what they were going to have for lunch being conned by a... I think it was a giant anaconda or something like that. BN.: Hmmm.... Didn't know where you were going to go with that, but, gives me something to chew on doesn't it? A.H.: Chew away my brother!
