Jr. Brown Goes Camping, has run-in with Hungry Bear, Falls off a Cliff, Gets Abducted by Extra-Terrestrials, Relates an Encounter with Goddess Love, And is
Returned to Campsite Pretty Much Unscathed…
So it occurred, upon a summer's night, not that long ago, Jr. Brown ventured with some friends into the wide wildernesses for a few nights of camping; to 'get away from it all' as is said. High on all that fresh unadulterated air, testosterone levels breached the levees of 'civilized sensibilities' and that very first evening was spent rough-housing, carefree carousing and rude joking around as most young men folk free from the eyes, ears, and mouths of parents, bosses, and 'significant others' are wont to do. All this was accented of course with the telling of very tall tales of adventures past, present and one day to come, enlivened and enhanced by the impetuous imbibing, can by can, of copious amounts of 'mood-adjusting' frothy liquid 'refreshments'. Bruised and well winded, all laughed and tuckered out, they doused the campfire and staggered each to his respective tent to fall heavily and soundly asleep.
'Round 'bout half-past midnight, into their campsite, following its nose which was under the strict dictates of an empty stomach, wandered a gruffy-sniffing-grunting hungry bear. Its faithful and obedient nose led the large sniffing-grunting- gruffy omnivore right to Jr. Brown's tent who had done what all who go a camping in the wild wildernesses well ought know not to do, that is: take a bag of trail-mix to bed with you and fall asleep with the wide open bag of tasty lightly salted roasted almonds cashews and peanuts, plump yummy golden raisins, diced dried mango, and scrumptious sugar sweetened cranberries resting oh so invitingly...
In one's sleeping bag right next to one!
Now, according to more than one hair raising articles in more than a few ancient issues of Readers Digest I remember perusing through as a bored youth, there have been quite a few folk who on an unfortunate night were rudely awakened to find themselves in the terrifying position of being 'on the menu' of a hungry bear and who some how miraculously lived to tell the tale. Jr. Brown also miraculously lived to tell this tale of his encounter with this hungry bear, but, as you might imagine, at the time the events of this tale where unfolding Jr. Brown thought and felt with the full and understandable conviction of his instinctive, emotional, and mental 'intelligences', that his well known and famous 'good luck' had finally exhausted itself and he was soon to be a 'goner'.
-But, he obviously had not run out of luck, for, as the bear was sniffing its gruffy way round the tent, it entangled itself with tent rope and became confused. Jr. Brown saw his chance to make a hasty but clumsy escape! A very clumsy escape because, wouldn't you know, as luck would have it, he was trapped in his mummy-style sleeping-bag! The damned zipper was stuck! Frantically Jr. Brown inched-wormed out the back end of the tent and away from the entangled, very confused, and about to become very angry bear. He managed to get to his feet and hop like a desperate cartoon character as far and fast as he could from that large hungry gruffy-sniffing-grunting carnivore. Jr. Brown's luck then took another very challenging turn because, wouldn't you know, the night-lights of the sky being obscured by a cover of thick clouds, he could not see at all where he was going and ended up hopping himself right over a cliff!
-But he still possessed a bit of luck, however, as his sleeping-bag got snagged on a stout manzanita branch which stopped his fall! But, un-luckily, the branch caused the sleeping bag to tear.! Slowly ripping it was, stitch by stitch! Luckily though, Jr. Brown managed to squeeze an arm out of the sleeping-bag. Frantically he began trying to un-stick the zipper. Unluckily however, his squirming only caused the sleeping-bag to rip through the final stitches!
-But with a desperate extension of his free hand he did manage to grab hold of the manzanita branch just as the sleeping bag tore free! Uncomfortably safe for the moment, he desperately attempted to wiggle free his other arm. Just then, behold, the clouds parted revealing a moon large and full and bright. In its sultry yet somber silvery light, Jr. Brown became acutely aware of his precarious situation. Looking down he saw that were he to fall, he'd have plenty of time to: exhaust his lungs screaming; play in his head a number of re-runs of his existence; ponder over and again if he had enough merit to award a positive after-life; and, if not, to recite every prayer he knew backwards and forwards five or six times in effort to make up for any short-comings before finally splatting into, who would even want to bother counting how many, pieces on the craggy jagged rocks way way way down below. Luckily, he somehow got his other arm free and was able to grasp and hold on to the manzanita branch with both hands. From the tear in the sleeping bag, downy feathers began to catch air, floating about him like weird flakes of surreal snow. Now Jr. Brown was an experienced rock climber; If he could wiggle his legs out of the sleeping- bag, and manage to find a toe-hold in the cliff-face, he had some hope and confidence that perhaps he might make in out of his predicament.
-But, damn the luck! Wouldn't you know, having freed itself of the tent rope, that old gruffy-sniffing-grunting hungry bear, nose ever fixated on the alluring aroma of that bag of trail-mix, peered its large gruffy-sniffing-grunting head over the cliff edge, and even had the bearish audacity to reach and swipe at a frantic Jr. Brown, who luckily and precipitously was just out of its reach! Poor Jr. Brown, the brother was at a complete loss, stuck as he was between a rock which was a hungry bear, and a very hard place which was way way way below!
Now, I don't know why, but for some reason Jr. Brown, despite his predicament, noticed just a few feet away, dangling from its long tendril, just a glistening in that sultry somber silvery moon light, the absolute phatest, ruby-reddest, jumbo-juiciest... wild-mountain-strawberry of all time! "Ah!" Jr. Brown thought, "...I must have a bite of that!" Luckily it was within his reach. Letting go with one arm he reached and plucked with desperate fingers that obscenely succulent wild-mountain-strawberry bringing it to his wanton lips and anticipating taste-buds...
Just then a downy feather floated right up between his face and that wild-mountain-strawberry... Tickling his nose... And... Well, before that strawberry could get into his mouth, wouldn't you know, a hearty sneeze came rushing right out! Unluckily, the convulsion of his body from the sneeze caused the manzanita plant to tear loose at the root and Jr. Brown was falling!
And falling... And falling... And falling...
...He screamed for a while... He hollered for a bit... Then he screamed some more... He prayed... He laughed... Then he cried... He prayed again... He laughed some more... He decided to holler again... Then just cause there was nothing else to do, prayed some more...
And suddenly, all, went, black.
When Jr. Brown opened his eyes he was confused and disoriented. Very understandably so! Was he dead? Maybe not; as he found he could move his head... But, to his dismay, could not feel nor move the rest of his body! Jr. Brown looked down to see if he still had a body to move, and saw that he did indeed still have a body... But Oh My Goddd!!! ...That body of his was laying upon a table of some strange alloy, in a strange room, eerily lit with strange oscillating multi-spectrum ambient light, and, to his speechless and absolute horror, his torso was cut open from collar bone to pelvic bone!!! And, incredibly, as if that were not at all bad enough... All his innards were missing!!!
Being telepathically linked, an extra-terrestrial immediately rushed to Jr. Brown's side and tried to calm him down, "Whoa, dude, I can only imagine what you must be feeling, but I know exactly what you're thinking. Dispense with such troublesome thoughts my man, for I, Fleieglesblorchk of Trinvnh have been a full fledge member of the diijmmnofloosp for the pass 9 vreechies, dispatching my duties faithfully and with proper dispassion, and, therefore, our Tpzpaz has seen fit to promote me to the rank of loogleschmoogal, and it is in such capacity that I have been assigned the obligation of monitoring the psychological health and well being of specimens such as yourself; just in case, as happens from time to time during these simple procedures a specimen such as yourself wakes up to find themselves in the precise state in which you now find yourself. Earthling, as I take your hand and hold it with warm reassuring grip, listen and take heart as I telepathize to you that you haven't a thing to be worried about. We've done this simple procedure thousands and thousands of times before and are really good at it. Watch, you'll see, we're going to put everything, each and every slimy part, back just the way we found them and you'll be as good as new; perhaps, even better!"
Jr. Brown looked up and saw looking down at him your average stereotypical oblong-headed-large-black-ovoid-eyed-scrawny-shouldered-long-limbed-three-fingered-extra-terrestrial. In an understandable frenzy, Jr. Brown looked to one side and then the other. He saw on his right two extra-terrestrials examining and pointing elongated fingers at his spleen, while on the left there were three more extra-terrestrials examining respectively a kidney, his even longer that he thought it was small intestine, and his thyroid. Jr. Brown didn't know what was worse, the fact that his body was wide open and his vitals were being handled by alien life forms, or the fact that he couldn't scream about it!
Using his telepathic powers, Fleieglesblorchk telepathically transmitted to Jr. Brown his advanced alien-hypno-whimsical-stress-regulating-agitated-mind-relaxing-theraputic-calming-technique, designed to attenuate the firing of certain electro-chemical impulses in the instincto-emotional centers of Jr. Brown's brains, and which had precisely the same effect upon him has had his favorite lullaby hummed with such sweetness by his beloved mother when he was but a babe. That is to say, Jr. Brown fell right to sleep.
When done with their scientific inquiries and investigations of Jr. Brown's various viscera, the extra-terrestrials began placing, as promised, everything back as it ought be. That is: all except for Jr. Brown's heart. They were compelled to give the heart of Jr. Brown much more keen study and intense investigation before putting it back in its proper place. Scratching their large oblong heads, they looked at one another with those large ovoid eyes, hunching their scrawny shoulders. They were at a complete loss as to what to think about their discovery of a very unusual feature of our indelible Jr. Brown's heart.
Jr. Brown's heart was criss-crossed all over with scars! It looked as if Jr. Brown's heart had been torn to shreds and some how sewn back together! After passing it to and fro amongst themselves, the astonished extra-terrestrials all turned to their companion Fleieglesblorchk, bidding him to inquire of Jr. Brown for an explanation; for they had long since made it a habit of theirs, for the sake of scientific interest of course, to study us earthlings, and, because of their thorough and pain-staking studies of us, were quite knowledgeable of all our pitiful, as compared to their own, medical so called 'advances' and therefore were well aware that we had not yet gained the acumen to perform such an obviously miraculous surgical procedure to sew back together a heart that had been ripped to shreds.
Fleieglesblorchk, with his highly trained alien mind, gently brought Jr. Brown back to a waking-state-of-consciousness, asking him forthwith to explain the mystery of his criss-cross scarred heart. Jr. Brown smiled a tender smile as he recalled one of the most poignant events of his life, "Oh, that. (sigh) ...That's because of what happened when I met the Goddess Love." Hearing this unexpected answer, the extra-terrestrials crowded around Jr. Brown. "Tell us, please, what happened. We want every detail!" Fleieglesblorchk begged of him. And, Jr. Brown, via a telepathic conference call if you will, told all those extra-terrestrials gathered around him of his encounter with the Goddess Love, and which happened something like this:
One gray and very blustery autumn day, on his way home from his volunteer gig at his local neighborhood farmer's market, Jr. Brown, despite the wind and chill, followed a spontaneous impulse to take the long way home by way of a tract of municipal wilderness known as a city park. Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, a fog did quickly descended upon the park. Now fog in the middle of the day in this city of Jr. Brown's home was not an uncommon occurrence due to the city's proximity to the ocean, but the rapidity with which this particular fog suddenly fell upon the park was, for lack of a better way of putting it, mystical. So thick was this fog that Jr. Brown's vision was reduced to only eight or so feet from the tip of his nose. He had been through this park many times before and knew it well, but with his vision suddenly reduced so, Jr. Brown had to stop and try to intuit his bearings. He squinted through the fog looking for a familiar row of trees by which he could find the path that would lead him to the other end of the park where the far end of the street on which he lived lay.
To his surprise, Jr. Brown saw a flowing feminine form appearing, becoming slowly visible through that mystical silvery grey dampness. A voice most melodic, haunting and entrancing called unto him, "Art thou lost?" Jr. Brown responded with, "N-no, I'm just trying to get home..." he didn't finish his sentence for his attention was captured by a plethora of darting little shadows on the ground and in the air around and about this approaching mysterious flowing feminine form. From their scampering, fluttering and chit-chattering Jr. Brown quickly discerned that they were numerous and very excited birds and squirrels. The flowing feminine form steadily came close enough for Jr. Brown to see what was for him (and would also be for you and I were we there to see it ) the most beautiful, the absolutely most beautiful, Presence, he had ever laid eyes upon. It was a Beauty that at once dispelled all thoughts and feelings of sadness, separateness, doubt, worry, enmity and fear. It was a Beauty that evoked immediate and complete trust and complete faith to the point of ultimate surrender. Slowly/suddenly Jr. Brown realized he was face to face with...
...Love itself!!
Love's appearance to Jr. Brown was the form of a Goddess, tall, indescribably resplendent, superbly radiant, supremely feminine, emanating a vast wisdom, subtle innocence, all knowing strength, and deep unfathomable purity. Jr. Brown fell to his knees. Reverence flowed naturally and spontaneously from his body, heart and mind. He wanted nothing more than to remain forever in the blissful awareness of that Sacred Presence.
Jr. Brown, as is destined for all who come into direct contact with Her, was in love with Love. I'd try to describe more of what this meeting between soul and Source of Soul was like, but such would take the skill of an ascetic very disciplined and dedicated poet the like of whom is rarely encountered on our planet. "Why am I still alive?!" Jr. Brown wailed. "...I want nothing more from this place! Take me! My heart, my soul, is wholly yours!"
"Wholly mine?" The Goddess Love queried in sly manner. The Goddess Love, Her very Majestic Self, then knelt face to face with the trembling, totally blissed out Jr. Brown. She slowly reached forth Her hand, placing her palm against Jr. Brown's chest... And to his astonishment... Her hand passed right through skin and muscle and bone! Her surprisingly ice-cold fingers took hold of his heart! Within her grip his heart passed effortlessly through its cage of body into openness and freedom... Well, into the open air, but not exactly into freedom. No, not quite...
...As the Goddess Love examined Jr. Brown's heart in her hand, a rueful expression rippled over Her Radiant Countenance... "Oh, Jr. Brown... This is going to hurt!" Jr. Brown looked at his heart in the firm grip of the Hand of Love and saw that deeply embedded into that poor heart of his were ten hooks! Wicked in form those hooks, and knotted to each hook ropes of stiff, hardened leather, the further ends of which were very firmly attached to him in the following way: A pair to his eyes and his ears and his hands respectively, and one each to his nose, his tongue, his stomach, and, his genitalia!!! There was no time, my friends, for Jr. Brown to entertain any sort of second thought about surrendering his heart to Love for in that very instant of realization of what was about to happen, it happened! With that Goddess Strength of Hers, Love snatched Jr. Brown's heart free from those wicked hooks and hardened leather tethers! The pain was so acute for Jr. Brown that all the neighbourhood dogs for a mile or so around began to bark and howl in compassionate understanding for only they could hear his high-pitched scream!
The resulting 'emptiness' experienced by Jr. Brown, I of course cannot describe. His body was still kneeling there on the damp grassy ground, his mind quivering on the precipice of absolute Void. He knew not why he still retained some semblance of consciousness, but he did, and he duly heard the Goddess Love to say, "My, my, Jr. Brown, look what a mess we've made!" Jr. Brown's heart was torn in shreds. The Goddess Love sat back on Her heels as the birds and squirrels diligently picked up and laid in Her lap the torn pieces of Jr. Brown's heart. The Goddess Love took from her bosom a needle, plucked a hair from her head, asked of a bird a feather from its wing, and from a squirrel a bit of fur from its tail, and from the three she spun a thread which she threaded to the needle and promptly, while humming a hauntingly bittersweet melody, patiently sewed Jr. Brown's heart piece by piece back together.
Once finished with her Sacred Handiwork the Goddess Love spoke thus, "Ah, Jr. Brown, the gown I have on today has no pockets! And I never carry a purse... Looks like you're going to have to hold on to this heart of mine for a while longer. Now, be a sweetheart, Jr. Brown, and do us both a favor: do keep it safe, (She winked at him,) ...And free from those awful and wicked ol' hooks 'till next we meet. I promise then, to have on a pair of work trousers with ample pockets, each with room to spare!" With those ice-cold fingers of hers the Goddess Love gently placed Jr. Brown's heart back into his chest. Then, as suddenly as it had descended, the mystical fog dissipated, that Flowing Feminine form of the Goddess Love with it, and all those birds and squirrels, still glowing from Love's Secret Presence fluttered and scampered happily away each to its own business.
Upon their telepathic reception of Jr. Brown's recounting of his encounter with the Goddess Love, those extraterrestrials, each and every one of them, found themselves momentarily speechless. They then gathered themselves together in a sort of huddle, communicating something between themselves. Once they came to a collective agreement, they right away placed, very carefully and with utmost precision, Jr. Brown's heart back into his body, and closed his body with such skill that one could not tell that it had ever been opened up in such away before. Moved by positive emotions of respectful mystification, Fleieglesblorchk mentally transmitted to Jr. Brown the following, "O', most honorable and virtuous earthling, do forgive us for our rude to say the least intrusion into your body, but, I suppose it was of your good fortune that we chose you for our experiments as that was quite some fall you were in the middle of when we tele-beemed you upon our ship. Know, earthling it is now our intent not to take you away with us, as we usually do with specimens such as yourself in order that the philusckshoops on our world might have a chance, if you survived the journey and if they were interested, of conducting further experiments upon you, or, to simply to auction you to the highest bidder, as earthling specimens are an oft requested and well sought after prize for dirkshirks to present to their bobblimooples for amusement and entertainment while these dirkshirks are away at their respective places of employment, but rather, earthling, we shall place you right back on your planet just as we found you... Well, heh, heh, heh... not just as we found you, but safely intact with your feet solidly upon solid ground; for we are astounded that the Goddess Love actually took the time to speak with one of your kind, and we are very curious as to whether or not when you meet the Goddess Love again if you will have been successful in keeping your heart, which now we know actually belongs to Her, safe and free from those awful and wicked hooks and tethers!"
As promised, the extra-terrestrials tele-beemed Jr. Brown back to the earth, his feet solidly upon the solid ground right there in the campsite where that nights adventure had begun. The sun had just risen above the horizon, bathing the landscape in that beautiful golden glow of early morn.
When his friends awoke and saw Jr. Brown gathering the rope and shredded nylon from his tent, they of course ask him what happened, and he duly told them all. They laughed and scoffed and chided him, charging him of being guilty of elaborating a ruse, in order to continue the tall tale-telling of the night before, "Extra-terrestrials? Yea Riiight as if there is really such a thing!!" "The Goddess Love?! C'mon man!" "So, if a bear had really come into camp last night, why hadn't any of us seen or heard it?" And so on and so forth.
(Of course, dear friends, there was no way Jr. Brown's 'pals' could believe what they were being told because of their propensity for 'drunken sleep'. And in a 'drunken slumber', who of us would have any sort of inkling of what had and even may still be occurring, right under our very noses?!)
~
Returned to Campsite Pretty Much Unscathed…
So it occurred, upon a summer's night, not that long ago, Jr. Brown ventured with some friends into the wide wildernesses for a few nights of camping; to 'get away from it all' as is said. High on all that fresh unadulterated air, testosterone levels breached the levees of 'civilized sensibilities' and that very first evening was spent rough-housing, carefree carousing and rude joking around as most young men folk free from the eyes, ears, and mouths of parents, bosses, and 'significant others' are wont to do. All this was accented of course with the telling of very tall tales of adventures past, present and one day to come, enlivened and enhanced by the impetuous imbibing, can by can, of copious amounts of 'mood-adjusting' frothy liquid 'refreshments'. Bruised and well winded, all laughed and tuckered out, they doused the campfire and staggered each to his respective tent to fall heavily and soundly asleep.
'Round 'bout half-past midnight, into their campsite, following its nose which was under the strict dictates of an empty stomach, wandered a gruffy-sniffing-grunting hungry bear. Its faithful and obedient nose led the large sniffing-grunting- gruffy omnivore right to Jr. Brown's tent who had done what all who go a camping in the wild wildernesses well ought know not to do, that is: take a bag of trail-mix to bed with you and fall asleep with the wide open bag of tasty lightly salted roasted almonds cashews and peanuts, plump yummy golden raisins, diced dried mango, and scrumptious sugar sweetened cranberries resting oh so invitingly...
In one's sleeping bag right next to one!
Now, according to more than one hair raising articles in more than a few ancient issues of Readers Digest I remember perusing through as a bored youth, there have been quite a few folk who on an unfortunate night were rudely awakened to find themselves in the terrifying position of being 'on the menu' of a hungry bear and who some how miraculously lived to tell the tale. Jr. Brown also miraculously lived to tell this tale of his encounter with this hungry bear, but, as you might imagine, at the time the events of this tale where unfolding Jr. Brown thought and felt with the full and understandable conviction of his instinctive, emotional, and mental 'intelligences', that his well known and famous 'good luck' had finally exhausted itself and he was soon to be a 'goner'.
-But, he obviously had not run out of luck, for, as the bear was sniffing its gruffy way round the tent, it entangled itself with tent rope and became confused. Jr. Brown saw his chance to make a hasty but clumsy escape! A very clumsy escape because, wouldn't you know, as luck would have it, he was trapped in his mummy-style sleeping-bag! The damned zipper was stuck! Frantically Jr. Brown inched-wormed out the back end of the tent and away from the entangled, very confused, and about to become very angry bear. He managed to get to his feet and hop like a desperate cartoon character as far and fast as he could from that large hungry gruffy-sniffing-grunting carnivore. Jr. Brown's luck then took another very challenging turn because, wouldn't you know, the night-lights of the sky being obscured by a cover of thick clouds, he could not see at all where he was going and ended up hopping himself right over a cliff!
-But he still possessed a bit of luck, however, as his sleeping-bag got snagged on a stout manzanita branch which stopped his fall! But, un-luckily, the branch caused the sleeping bag to tear.! Slowly ripping it was, stitch by stitch! Luckily though, Jr. Brown managed to squeeze an arm out of the sleeping-bag. Frantically he began trying to un-stick the zipper. Unluckily however, his squirming only caused the sleeping-bag to rip through the final stitches!
-But with a desperate extension of his free hand he did manage to grab hold of the manzanita branch just as the sleeping bag tore free! Uncomfortably safe for the moment, he desperately attempted to wiggle free his other arm. Just then, behold, the clouds parted revealing a moon large and full and bright. In its sultry yet somber silvery light, Jr. Brown became acutely aware of his precarious situation. Looking down he saw that were he to fall, he'd have plenty of time to: exhaust his lungs screaming; play in his head a number of re-runs of his existence; ponder over and again if he had enough merit to award a positive after-life; and, if not, to recite every prayer he knew backwards and forwards five or six times in effort to make up for any short-comings before finally splatting into, who would even want to bother counting how many, pieces on the craggy jagged rocks way way way down below. Luckily, he somehow got his other arm free and was able to grasp and hold on to the manzanita branch with both hands. From the tear in the sleeping bag, downy feathers began to catch air, floating about him like weird flakes of surreal snow. Now Jr. Brown was an experienced rock climber; If he could wiggle his legs out of the sleeping- bag, and manage to find a toe-hold in the cliff-face, he had some hope and confidence that perhaps he might make in out of his predicament.
-But, damn the luck! Wouldn't you know, having freed itself of the tent rope, that old gruffy-sniffing-grunting hungry bear, nose ever fixated on the alluring aroma of that bag of trail-mix, peered its large gruffy-sniffing-grunting head over the cliff edge, and even had the bearish audacity to reach and swipe at a frantic Jr. Brown, who luckily and precipitously was just out of its reach! Poor Jr. Brown, the brother was at a complete loss, stuck as he was between a rock which was a hungry bear, and a very hard place which was way way way below!
Now, I don't know why, but for some reason Jr. Brown, despite his predicament, noticed just a few feet away, dangling from its long tendril, just a glistening in that sultry somber silvery moon light, the absolute phatest, ruby-reddest, jumbo-juiciest... wild-mountain-strawberry of all time! "Ah!" Jr. Brown thought, "...I must have a bite of that!" Luckily it was within his reach. Letting go with one arm he reached and plucked with desperate fingers that obscenely succulent wild-mountain-strawberry bringing it to his wanton lips and anticipating taste-buds...
Just then a downy feather floated right up between his face and that wild-mountain-strawberry... Tickling his nose... And... Well, before that strawberry could get into his mouth, wouldn't you know, a hearty sneeze came rushing right out! Unluckily, the convulsion of his body from the sneeze caused the manzanita plant to tear loose at the root and Jr. Brown was falling!
And falling... And falling... And falling...
...He screamed for a while... He hollered for a bit... Then he screamed some more... He prayed... He laughed... Then he cried... He prayed again... He laughed some more... He decided to holler again... Then just cause there was nothing else to do, prayed some more...
And suddenly, all, went, black.
When Jr. Brown opened his eyes he was confused and disoriented. Very understandably so! Was he dead? Maybe not; as he found he could move his head... But, to his dismay, could not feel nor move the rest of his body! Jr. Brown looked down to see if he still had a body to move, and saw that he did indeed still have a body... But Oh My Goddd!!! ...That body of his was laying upon a table of some strange alloy, in a strange room, eerily lit with strange oscillating multi-spectrum ambient light, and, to his speechless and absolute horror, his torso was cut open from collar bone to pelvic bone!!! And, incredibly, as if that were not at all bad enough... All his innards were missing!!!
Being telepathically linked, an extra-terrestrial immediately rushed to Jr. Brown's side and tried to calm him down, "Whoa, dude, I can only imagine what you must be feeling, but I know exactly what you're thinking. Dispense with such troublesome thoughts my man, for I, Fleieglesblorchk of Trinvnh have been a full fledge member of the diijmmnofloosp for the pass 9 vreechies, dispatching my duties faithfully and with proper dispassion, and, therefore, our Tpzpaz has seen fit to promote me to the rank of loogleschmoogal, and it is in such capacity that I have been assigned the obligation of monitoring the psychological health and well being of specimens such as yourself; just in case, as happens from time to time during these simple procedures a specimen such as yourself wakes up to find themselves in the precise state in which you now find yourself. Earthling, as I take your hand and hold it with warm reassuring grip, listen and take heart as I telepathize to you that you haven't a thing to be worried about. We've done this simple procedure thousands and thousands of times before and are really good at it. Watch, you'll see, we're going to put everything, each and every slimy part, back just the way we found them and you'll be as good as new; perhaps, even better!"
Jr. Brown looked up and saw looking down at him your average stereotypical oblong-headed-large-black-ovoid-eyed-scrawny-shouldered-long-limbed-three-fingered-extra-terrestrial. In an understandable frenzy, Jr. Brown looked to one side and then the other. He saw on his right two extra-terrestrials examining and pointing elongated fingers at his spleen, while on the left there were three more extra-terrestrials examining respectively a kidney, his even longer that he thought it was small intestine, and his thyroid. Jr. Brown didn't know what was worse, the fact that his body was wide open and his vitals were being handled by alien life forms, or the fact that he couldn't scream about it!
Using his telepathic powers, Fleieglesblorchk telepathically transmitted to Jr. Brown his advanced alien-hypno-whimsical-stress-regulating-agitated-mind-relaxing-theraputic-calming-technique, designed to attenuate the firing of certain electro-chemical impulses in the instincto-emotional centers of Jr. Brown's brains, and which had precisely the same effect upon him has had his favorite lullaby hummed with such sweetness by his beloved mother when he was but a babe. That is to say, Jr. Brown fell right to sleep.
When done with their scientific inquiries and investigations of Jr. Brown's various viscera, the extra-terrestrials began placing, as promised, everything back as it ought be. That is: all except for Jr. Brown's heart. They were compelled to give the heart of Jr. Brown much more keen study and intense investigation before putting it back in its proper place. Scratching their large oblong heads, they looked at one another with those large ovoid eyes, hunching their scrawny shoulders. They were at a complete loss as to what to think about their discovery of a very unusual feature of our indelible Jr. Brown's heart.
Jr. Brown's heart was criss-crossed all over with scars! It looked as if Jr. Brown's heart had been torn to shreds and some how sewn back together! After passing it to and fro amongst themselves, the astonished extra-terrestrials all turned to their companion Fleieglesblorchk, bidding him to inquire of Jr. Brown for an explanation; for they had long since made it a habit of theirs, for the sake of scientific interest of course, to study us earthlings, and, because of their thorough and pain-staking studies of us, were quite knowledgeable of all our pitiful, as compared to their own, medical so called 'advances' and therefore were well aware that we had not yet gained the acumen to perform such an obviously miraculous surgical procedure to sew back together a heart that had been ripped to shreds.
Fleieglesblorchk, with his highly trained alien mind, gently brought Jr. Brown back to a waking-state-of-consciousness, asking him forthwith to explain the mystery of his criss-cross scarred heart. Jr. Brown smiled a tender smile as he recalled one of the most poignant events of his life, "Oh, that. (sigh) ...That's because of what happened when I met the Goddess Love." Hearing this unexpected answer, the extra-terrestrials crowded around Jr. Brown. "Tell us, please, what happened. We want every detail!" Fleieglesblorchk begged of him. And, Jr. Brown, via a telepathic conference call if you will, told all those extra-terrestrials gathered around him of his encounter with the Goddess Love, and which happened something like this:
One gray and very blustery autumn day, on his way home from his volunteer gig at his local neighborhood farmer's market, Jr. Brown, despite the wind and chill, followed a spontaneous impulse to take the long way home by way of a tract of municipal wilderness known as a city park. Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, a fog did quickly descended upon the park. Now fog in the middle of the day in this city of Jr. Brown's home was not an uncommon occurrence due to the city's proximity to the ocean, but the rapidity with which this particular fog suddenly fell upon the park was, for lack of a better way of putting it, mystical. So thick was this fog that Jr. Brown's vision was reduced to only eight or so feet from the tip of his nose. He had been through this park many times before and knew it well, but with his vision suddenly reduced so, Jr. Brown had to stop and try to intuit his bearings. He squinted through the fog looking for a familiar row of trees by which he could find the path that would lead him to the other end of the park where the far end of the street on which he lived lay.
To his surprise, Jr. Brown saw a flowing feminine form appearing, becoming slowly visible through that mystical silvery grey dampness. A voice most melodic, haunting and entrancing called unto him, "Art thou lost?" Jr. Brown responded with, "N-no, I'm just trying to get home..." he didn't finish his sentence for his attention was captured by a plethora of darting little shadows on the ground and in the air around and about this approaching mysterious flowing feminine form. From their scampering, fluttering and chit-chattering Jr. Brown quickly discerned that they were numerous and very excited birds and squirrels. The flowing feminine form steadily came close enough for Jr. Brown to see what was for him (and would also be for you and I were we there to see it ) the most beautiful, the absolutely most beautiful, Presence, he had ever laid eyes upon. It was a Beauty that at once dispelled all thoughts and feelings of sadness, separateness, doubt, worry, enmity and fear. It was a Beauty that evoked immediate and complete trust and complete faith to the point of ultimate surrender. Slowly/suddenly Jr. Brown realized he was face to face with...
...Love itself!!
Love's appearance to Jr. Brown was the form of a Goddess, tall, indescribably resplendent, superbly radiant, supremely feminine, emanating a vast wisdom, subtle innocence, all knowing strength, and deep unfathomable purity. Jr. Brown fell to his knees. Reverence flowed naturally and spontaneously from his body, heart and mind. He wanted nothing more than to remain forever in the blissful awareness of that Sacred Presence.
Jr. Brown, as is destined for all who come into direct contact with Her, was in love with Love. I'd try to describe more of what this meeting between soul and Source of Soul was like, but such would take the skill of an ascetic very disciplined and dedicated poet the like of whom is rarely encountered on our planet. "Why am I still alive?!" Jr. Brown wailed. "...I want nothing more from this place! Take me! My heart, my soul, is wholly yours!"
"Wholly mine?" The Goddess Love queried in sly manner. The Goddess Love, Her very Majestic Self, then knelt face to face with the trembling, totally blissed out Jr. Brown. She slowly reached forth Her hand, placing her palm against Jr. Brown's chest... And to his astonishment... Her hand passed right through skin and muscle and bone! Her surprisingly ice-cold fingers took hold of his heart! Within her grip his heart passed effortlessly through its cage of body into openness and freedom... Well, into the open air, but not exactly into freedom. No, not quite...
...As the Goddess Love examined Jr. Brown's heart in her hand, a rueful expression rippled over Her Radiant Countenance... "Oh, Jr. Brown... This is going to hurt!" Jr. Brown looked at his heart in the firm grip of the Hand of Love and saw that deeply embedded into that poor heart of his were ten hooks! Wicked in form those hooks, and knotted to each hook ropes of stiff, hardened leather, the further ends of which were very firmly attached to him in the following way: A pair to his eyes and his ears and his hands respectively, and one each to his nose, his tongue, his stomach, and, his genitalia!!! There was no time, my friends, for Jr. Brown to entertain any sort of second thought about surrendering his heart to Love for in that very instant of realization of what was about to happen, it happened! With that Goddess Strength of Hers, Love snatched Jr. Brown's heart free from those wicked hooks and hardened leather tethers! The pain was so acute for Jr. Brown that all the neighbourhood dogs for a mile or so around began to bark and howl in compassionate understanding for only they could hear his high-pitched scream!
The resulting 'emptiness' experienced by Jr. Brown, I of course cannot describe. His body was still kneeling there on the damp grassy ground, his mind quivering on the precipice of absolute Void. He knew not why he still retained some semblance of consciousness, but he did, and he duly heard the Goddess Love to say, "My, my, Jr. Brown, look what a mess we've made!" Jr. Brown's heart was torn in shreds. The Goddess Love sat back on Her heels as the birds and squirrels diligently picked up and laid in Her lap the torn pieces of Jr. Brown's heart. The Goddess Love took from her bosom a needle, plucked a hair from her head, asked of a bird a feather from its wing, and from a squirrel a bit of fur from its tail, and from the three she spun a thread which she threaded to the needle and promptly, while humming a hauntingly bittersweet melody, patiently sewed Jr. Brown's heart piece by piece back together.
Once finished with her Sacred Handiwork the Goddess Love spoke thus, "Ah, Jr. Brown, the gown I have on today has no pockets! And I never carry a purse... Looks like you're going to have to hold on to this heart of mine for a while longer. Now, be a sweetheart, Jr. Brown, and do us both a favor: do keep it safe, (She winked at him,) ...And free from those awful and wicked ol' hooks 'till next we meet. I promise then, to have on a pair of work trousers with ample pockets, each with room to spare!" With those ice-cold fingers of hers the Goddess Love gently placed Jr. Brown's heart back into his chest. Then, as suddenly as it had descended, the mystical fog dissipated, that Flowing Feminine form of the Goddess Love with it, and all those birds and squirrels, still glowing from Love's Secret Presence fluttered and scampered happily away each to its own business.
Upon their telepathic reception of Jr. Brown's recounting of his encounter with the Goddess Love, those extraterrestrials, each and every one of them, found themselves momentarily speechless. They then gathered themselves together in a sort of huddle, communicating something between themselves. Once they came to a collective agreement, they right away placed, very carefully and with utmost precision, Jr. Brown's heart back into his body, and closed his body with such skill that one could not tell that it had ever been opened up in such away before. Moved by positive emotions of respectful mystification, Fleieglesblorchk mentally transmitted to Jr. Brown the following, "O', most honorable and virtuous earthling, do forgive us for our rude to say the least intrusion into your body, but, I suppose it was of your good fortune that we chose you for our experiments as that was quite some fall you were in the middle of when we tele-beemed you upon our ship. Know, earthling it is now our intent not to take you away with us, as we usually do with specimens such as yourself in order that the philusckshoops on our world might have a chance, if you survived the journey and if they were interested, of conducting further experiments upon you, or, to simply to auction you to the highest bidder, as earthling specimens are an oft requested and well sought after prize for dirkshirks to present to their bobblimooples for amusement and entertainment while these dirkshirks are away at their respective places of employment, but rather, earthling, we shall place you right back on your planet just as we found you... Well, heh, heh, heh... not just as we found you, but safely intact with your feet solidly upon solid ground; for we are astounded that the Goddess Love actually took the time to speak with one of your kind, and we are very curious as to whether or not when you meet the Goddess Love again if you will have been successful in keeping your heart, which now we know actually belongs to Her, safe and free from those awful and wicked hooks and tethers!"
As promised, the extra-terrestrials tele-beemed Jr. Brown back to the earth, his feet solidly upon the solid ground right there in the campsite where that nights adventure had begun. The sun had just risen above the horizon, bathing the landscape in that beautiful golden glow of early morn.
When his friends awoke and saw Jr. Brown gathering the rope and shredded nylon from his tent, they of course ask him what happened, and he duly told them all. They laughed and scoffed and chided him, charging him of being guilty of elaborating a ruse, in order to continue the tall tale-telling of the night before, "Extra-terrestrials? Yea Riiight as if there is really such a thing!!" "The Goddess Love?! C'mon man!" "So, if a bear had really come into camp last night, why hadn't any of us seen or heard it?" And so on and so forth.
(Of course, dear friends, there was no way Jr. Brown's 'pals' could believe what they were being told because of their propensity for 'drunken sleep'. And in a 'drunken slumber', who of us would have any sort of inkling of what had and even may still be occurring, right under our very noses?!)
~
