How the girl with no name
became
Two Crows Woman
She was being raised and homeschooled by her grandpa, as both her parents and her grandmother died in a tragedy when she was only a babe. Now she was 8 years old, pining to go to regular school and be with other children her age. But her grandpa says,
“No.”
That was the answer she knew he would give, but it still made her angry,
“Why not? home school is boring! I want to make friends!”
“I want you to make friends too, and learn lots and even go to college like your mom,”
“So why can’t I go to regular school?”
“Because you haven’t got a name yet.”
“That’s because you won’t give me a name!”
“That’s because you don’t have your Song!”
“Unnnngh! I don’t need no song,”
“Yes, you do. Everyone needs their Song, love. Things will happen… your life will not go right if you don’t have your song. I told you that before. Lots and lots of times before.”
“I know, I know, I know but… I don’t wanna go out into the woods! I want to go to school, real school,
Pine Bluff Elementary School!”
The girl with no name’s grandpa was what some people call ‘old school’, because he lived mostly by the old ways, the traditional ways of his people. He was aware of all the modern technologies but felt no need for them himself. He wasn’t against technology and marveled at the devices and gadgets when friends and family would show them off, but though they made certain aspects of life somewhat convenient, the grandfather of the girl with no name, did see that there was a rather steep downside to what he witnessed as a growing dependence on these technologies. He told his granddaughter,
“Everyone needs a Song. Their Song. When one has their Song, they can find their way in life.”
“Get me a phone and I can use GPS!”
“You stop being a smart pants!”
her grandpa reprimanded. Not only was her grandfather not letting her go to school before she knew her Song, but he was severely limiting her contact with technologies. He reminded her,
“You get your Song -you get a name. You have a name -you go to school. You do good in school -I’ll get you one of those stupid phones.”
“It’s called a smart phone!”
“You think I don’t know that? Anybody or anything that makes a claim to be smart …is stupid!”
“What’s wrong with being smart?”
“Nothing. Just don’t make no sense to be braggin’ about it.”
Her grandfather makes a stupid face. She has to strain not to laugh. She goes and takes her grandpa’s big hands,
“I want to go to school grandpa, an’ everybody’s gotta name but me, why do you make me do things the
old way…”
“My child, I wish you would understand why, before you have a name, you need to hear, to know, to feel your Song. Your name comes from hearing your song. To hear your song, you gotta do the alone-time in the wood.”
“But I don’t want to be…”
her voice trailed off,
“You don’t want to be what?”
“I don’t want to be by myself.”
she said sheepishly. She was afraid to be alone in the woods. According to the old ways, to hear one’s Song, one had to spend alone-time in the woods. Alone-time in the woods meant being still and quiet and listening …actually not listening, but hearing.
“Why does it have to be in the woods?” I been practicing being still and quiet, an’ you said I’m good at it even. How come that’s not enough?”
“There’s nothing to be afraid of in the woods …but your self. Our peoples have always done this, your mom did it, your pa too. I did it and your grandma.”
“But, but I’m not as brave as you guys…”
“You don’t have to be brave, but you do need courage,”
“That’s what you always say. What’s the difference? I’m scared to be by myself in the woods!”
“The brave are too stupid to be scared, to have courage is to face your fears and not let them stop you from doing what you have to do. Bravery is blinding, courage shows you who you are.”
Many times did this conversation occur between them, and this time like all the others, the matter was left unresolved. The resolution, as destined, did one day come and it happened like this, the grandfather took gravely ill, the rural doctor was called and strongly recommended he go to the hospital in the city, but her grandpa refused. All morning friends and family visited to help look after him, each trying to convince him to go to the hospital.
“No.”
he would weakly but adamantly tell them again and over again, often adding,
“If it’s my time it’s my time, and if it ain’t it ain’t and it’s as simple as that. I ain’t got but one regret in my life, it’s a big one, but I did my best the best I could, as the One Who Watches Over knows…”
and those who knew him well also knew there was no convincing the old man neither left nor right, nor up nor down once he makes mention of the One Who Watches Over. But, on schedule, according to Destiny, an ornery relative came for visit. An argument ensued ending with the ornery relative storming out of the room boiling over with frustration,
“Stubborn stupid ol’ fool’s gonna die a stubborn stupid ol’ fool! An’ what the hell’s gonna happen to her? Didn’t even have enough sense to give his grandchild a name!”
The plate she had been washing crashed onto the floor. The ornery relative went into the kitchen,
“What’s goin’ on in here?”
the only answer was the screen door whacking shut. Through the window the girl with no name was seen tearing toward the wood.
There was no thought, no intent, just a big feeling. A big mess of feeling it was… threatening it was… overwhelming it was… and surely would it devour her if she did not act …and the only act available was to RUN …so run she did ...strong and fast she ran ...as if for her life she ran…
…Had the girl with no name known she was going to end up in the wood, she would have run hard and fast in a different direction! But it was too late now. She was deep in the wood …alone and full of fear. Disoriented and fatigued she ambled weak-kneed in the circle of a small clearing. Despite the overwhelming mess of feeling, to which was added her angst of being alone in the wood, she found herself softly repeating,
“Just sit down, just sit down, just sit down,”
It was her own voice, but also somehow more than her own voice,
“Okay, okay, okay…”
she heard herself answering herself as she sat down. She told herself,
“Let’s just be quiet…”
“Okay, okay, okay…”
she answered.
The first to show up were two crows. They alighted in a tree that was West. She saw them land. She saw their beauty. She saw that rainbows secretly shimmered in their midnight-black feathers. They preened themselves and took turns watching her. All of a sudden, at the trunk of the tree, a bear appeared! The girl with no name was frozen in her fright. She closed her eyes afraid to look upon it. The bear was breathing huskily swaying back and forth, remaining at the edge of the clearing. The girl with no name opened her eyes and saw the bear looking at her, then slowly in a friendly sort of way it began to rub against the tree trunk to scratch an itch it could not reach.
“H-he, he’s a n-nice bear…”
she nervously hope/thought. A snorting! -and at the North edge of the clearing a bull moose appeared! It’s antlers twice wider than she was tall! It snorted again scraping hoof against the ground. It was more imposing than the bear… but it did not enter the clearing. Noble and majestic stood the watching moose at the clearing's edge.
Her heart was thumping so loud! She could feel it pounding in her chest as if it was going to burst out into the open! Then, there was a rustling and a funny clucking-growl to the South, and at the clearing’s edge was a badger! It was big for a badger, but young and playful, rolling over itself seeming not to notice the girl or the other animals. It was cute in its self-absorbed antics, but when it sometimes looked over to her, she saw its face markings gave it an appearance quite fierce and quickly would she look away. The girl with no name then felt a presence behind her, which was the direction to the East. She didn’t hear it but she knew it was there …could feel it watching her. She turned her head slowly to look behind... and there, svelte in form and petrifying in gaze was a puma! It too stayed at the edge of the clearing, watching her intently. The girl with no name turned her head back straight and sunk it between her hunched shoulders. Was she going to die? She felt so foreign …foreign to herself, and the wood, and the animals watching her.
They obviously knew she didn’t belong there. How dare she enter here! Our home! We will show her what happens to frightened little girls who stupidly enter our world!
Such was the feeling thought of her ignorance, her self-doubt, and her fear being projected onto her novel and extraordinary experience. Novel and extraordinary and …quiet.
It was so quiet it was as if the entire wood was still… so quiet it was: m-i-r-a-c-u-l-o-u-s …she felt as if transposed into a safe magical bubble of quiet; the big mess of feeling was still there, but outside the bubble… her fear of the wood was there, but it was outside the bubble too; the wood itself however, and the crows, the bear, the elk, puma and badger… were inside the bubble with her! And her grandfather was there! -the memory, teaching her how to be still and quiet… she was remembering… remembering what she had practiced at home safe in her room… and that feeling was now with her here in the wood…
“It’s noisy gran’pa!”
she would complain of the sounds coming through the window, birds arguing on the eave, the wind whipping through the leaves of the big elm, a lonely crop plane overhead, and the far away growl of a neighbor’s tractor…
“Yes, it’s noisy, but the quiet never goes away. Just like thoughts come and go, but your head never goes away. You move things about in your room but the space in your room stays the same. It’s like that with the quiet. Sounds come an’ go, move ‘round an’ about, but the quiet is always there. Keep practicing.”
She was aware of the all-embracing quiet now. How, she knew not. It just happened, she just realized as she realized it. Just as her grandfather said, the quiet is always there (here). The animals, except for badger playing with herself, were quiet. The girl with no name was quiet. The wood was quiet. Softly, beautifully, sacredly quiet. Then: she heard… Boom-bump, Boom-bump, Boom-bump, Boom-bump, Boom-bump… She heard the Drum! Boom-bump, Boom-bump, Boom-bump, Boom-bump, Boom-bump… She… heard…the… Drum… and the Drum... was… her… Heart!? Her heart -Boom-bump- was the Drum!? The Drum -Boom-bump- was her heart! It’s beating was different now, no longer —fearful, but calm, strong, steady, alive!
“Gran’pa how will I know when my song is coming?”
“Well, some hear the Drum first. That’s how it was for your Gran’ma, or so she told me.”
Boom-bump, Boom-bump, Boom-bump… She heard the Heart-Drum… and she was aware of the all-embracing quiet… then: The Voice came. Softly and far away at first, but ever closer it came, in rhythm with the Drum that was her Heart it came… repeating… a melody of surety… of innocence and strength… of un-knowing wisdom... and of comforting familiarity! Naturally did the girl with no name let the song come. From within and without simultaneously it came… until seamlessly did the Song merge with her breath to become the sound of her voice. And she sang the Song. Seamlessly did the Song merge with her body. And she danced the Song.
Badger stopped playing and watched, the two crows watched, bear and moose and puma watched …quietly …approvingly …and bear, satisfied, lumbered away …and moose, satisfied, stepped away …and puma, satisfied, leapt back into the shadowed wood …and badger, satisfied, returned to her den. The two crows were satisfied also, but they remained, watching the girl sing/dance her Song.
Her singing and dancing ended softly and naturally enfolded into the quiet. She felt refreshed and wonderfully alive …and …fearless! She turned to look upon the animals that they might witness her fearlessness and to show them her gratitude but only the crows were there to witness. Why only the crows?
Suddenly the clearing was aglow! A Presence stepped forth from the wood. The girl with no name was astonished at the beauty of the Old Woman who was suddenly there, whose smile was so warm it dispelled all thought and feeling except peace, whose hair and garb was so white, it would have stung her eyes to blindness had she not looked away, whose gaze was so impenetrably knowing that could it be met, she would instantaneously disappear in an explosion of ten-thousand awe filled death-sparks fading into the Infinite.
“Thank You, Child, For That Song!”
She heard The Old Woman speak with ordinary friendliness. The girl with no name dared to lift her eyes and saw what then seem to be but an ordinary old woman dressed in drab grey,
“Umm, you’re welcome? W-who are you?”
“I’m Your Grandmother.”
“My grandmother?!”
“I’m Everybody’s Grandmother To Tell The Truth!”
the old woman chuckled.
The girl with no name immediately was aware that she was before the Answer to any and everything she could ever wish to know.
“You Were Just Looking As If Something Was On Your Mind, A Question Perhaps?
Please Share It With Me!”
The girl with no name’s mind was peaceful even as it was full of awe; and her heart, even as it was full of wonder, it was sublimely content, so she lost the feeling of her question. But after a moment, a remembrance,
“Oh! I- I was wondering, just before -um before you came, Grandmother, why…”
she felt slightly shy and embarrassed,
“Why What?”
the Grandmother of All asked, transmitting confidence to the girl with no name,
“Well the animals were all watching me, and as I was singing and dancing, they all left …except the two crows. Why are the two crows still here?”
“Ah, Those are your Allies.”
“Allies?”
“Your Friends. Your Helpers.”
“My helpers?”
“Oh Yes, We All Need A Little Help Every Now And Then, Right?”
“Um, yes…”
“You See, Now That You Know Your Song, Your Life Can Go In A good Way. But, There Is Always A Danger In This World My Dear, Even If You Have Your Song To Guide You.”
“The crows will help me if I’m in danger?”
“Not If, When.”
The Grandmother of All corrected,
“Now That You Know Your Song, You Are In Danger Of Forgetting Your Song.”
“Oh, I will never forget my Song!”
“Humph! That’s What They All Say… And Alas My Dear, They ALL Forget.”
“I don’t want to ever forget my Song Grandmother!”
“Well, Well ...Don’t Panic, That’s Why Your Friends Are Sticking Around.”
“The crows…”
“Yes, They Will Show Up When You Have Forgotten Or Are Even Close To Forgetting Your Song. The Two Of Them Will, And That’s How You’ll Know, They Will Show Up Together. And When They Show Up Together, You’ll Remember, ‘Oh, My Song’, And When You Remember your Song, You’ll Sing It And As You Sing It You’ll Remember Me, And As You Remember Me,
You’ll Remember This I Tell You Now:
Such Is So, and So Is Such, And Everything, Is Everything!
“And, When You Remember That, Whatever Has Caused You Such Trouble That You Forgot Or Are In Danger Of Forgetting Your Song, Will Be Remedied.
Now, I shan’t Tarry Any Longer And Will Be On My Way, But If You Please, As I leave, I’d like To Hear You Sing…”
“Wait! Grandmother, please…”
“What is it my dear?”
“A name! My name! Gran’pa says I get a name when I know my Song! I need a name so I can go to school!”
“Well Now, If You’re Asking Me, Which You Obviously Are, From Everything I Have Witnessed, Feels Proper To Me To Call You
Wanita Loro Gagak --
Which Means:
Two Crows Woman --
Who Is:
The One who Remembers her Song.
Speaking Of, Please, Wanita Loro Gagak, Sing For Me Again As I Take My Leave.”
The girl who was now Two Crows Woman closed her eyes and sang and danced her Song for the Grandmother of All who, when she opened her eyes after finishing, was gone.
Finding she spontaneously knew the way,
Two Crows Woman headed straight back home keenly wanting to tend her gran’pa and tell him her experience and her name. Very light in foot her running, with the two crows on wing following.
Bounding into the kitchen she was surprised to run right into the barrel chest of her grandfather. Astonished, she demanded,
“What’r you doin’ outta bed?!”
“I’m hungry and fixin’ sumthin’ t’ eat.”
“You’re all better?!”
“Feels that way. I sure thought I was on my way to the Sky beyond the sky when they told me you run away… right fainted I did.
But I had a dream, your ma an’ pa an’ gran’ma come to me just a smilin’ they were, an’ I say well I’m comin’ to be with you all, but they shook their heads no and
pointed me Eastward…
and there you were dancing with these two crows…
I woke feelin’ right ‘n’ fine ...except for this terrible hunger.”
he grabbed his granddaughter’s small hands,
“So, tell me, you went an’ got your Song, didn’t you?”
“Yes, gran’pa! Ooh I was so scared at first, ‘cause bear, an’ badger, an’ moose, an’ puma an’ the two crows showed up to watch! And the Grandmother of All come too!
She gave me the name Two Crows Woman!
Soooo I’m ready to go to school!”
“Two Crows Woman!?”
her grandfather slapped his leg,
“That’s a right powerful name! You can’t have much trouble follow you with a name like that! The heck with leftovers let’s get in the truck an’ head to Mrs. B’s!”
Mrs. B’s was a local eatery, famous for their pies and where most everyone in town would go if there was something to celebrate.
As they drove to town the grandfather told his granddaughter,
“Well, now that you got your name, you know what that means right?”
“Means I can go to school!”
“Yep, an’ what else?”
“I can get a smart phone!”
“Uh huh, if you do good …but what else?”
“What else? I don’t know, what?”
“Means you won’t have trouble findin’ a good husband when the time comes!”
Two Crows Woman was shocked into quiet. Her grandfather asked,
“What’s wrong?”
After a long moment of silence, Two Crows Woman told her grandfather,
“I don’t need no stupid husband!”
“Not a stupid husband but a good one! -one who can be a help for you,”
“I don’t need no help from a husband!”
“Oh, well, umm …what if a potential husband needs help from you?”
“Well, he better know his Song before he comes lookin’ for my help! —that’s all I have t’ say!”
Two Crows Woman’s grandfather let out a guffaw as he slapped his leg. He smiled all the way to town, very happy to hear such confidence from his granddaughter, and very, very grateful to the
Grandmother of All.
became
Two Crows Woman
She was being raised and homeschooled by her grandpa, as both her parents and her grandmother died in a tragedy when she was only a babe. Now she was 8 years old, pining to go to regular school and be with other children her age. But her grandpa says,
“No.”
That was the answer she knew he would give, but it still made her angry,
“Why not? home school is boring! I want to make friends!”
“I want you to make friends too, and learn lots and even go to college like your mom,”
“So why can’t I go to regular school?”
“Because you haven’t got a name yet.”
“That’s because you won’t give me a name!”
“That’s because you don’t have your Song!”
“Unnnngh! I don’t need no song,”
“Yes, you do. Everyone needs their Song, love. Things will happen… your life will not go right if you don’t have your song. I told you that before. Lots and lots of times before.”
“I know, I know, I know but… I don’t wanna go out into the woods! I want to go to school, real school,
Pine Bluff Elementary School!”
The girl with no name’s grandpa was what some people call ‘old school’, because he lived mostly by the old ways, the traditional ways of his people. He was aware of all the modern technologies but felt no need for them himself. He wasn’t against technology and marveled at the devices and gadgets when friends and family would show them off, but though they made certain aspects of life somewhat convenient, the grandfather of the girl with no name, did see that there was a rather steep downside to what he witnessed as a growing dependence on these technologies. He told his granddaughter,
“Everyone needs a Song. Their Song. When one has their Song, they can find their way in life.”
“Get me a phone and I can use GPS!”
“You stop being a smart pants!”
her grandpa reprimanded. Not only was her grandfather not letting her go to school before she knew her Song, but he was severely limiting her contact with technologies. He reminded her,
“You get your Song -you get a name. You have a name -you go to school. You do good in school -I’ll get you one of those stupid phones.”
“It’s called a smart phone!”
“You think I don’t know that? Anybody or anything that makes a claim to be smart …is stupid!”
“What’s wrong with being smart?”
“Nothing. Just don’t make no sense to be braggin’ about it.”
Her grandfather makes a stupid face. She has to strain not to laugh. She goes and takes her grandpa’s big hands,
“I want to go to school grandpa, an’ everybody’s gotta name but me, why do you make me do things the
old way…”
“My child, I wish you would understand why, before you have a name, you need to hear, to know, to feel your Song. Your name comes from hearing your song. To hear your song, you gotta do the alone-time in the wood.”
“But I don’t want to be…”
her voice trailed off,
“You don’t want to be what?”
“I don’t want to be by myself.”
she said sheepishly. She was afraid to be alone in the woods. According to the old ways, to hear one’s Song, one had to spend alone-time in the woods. Alone-time in the woods meant being still and quiet and listening …actually not listening, but hearing.
“Why does it have to be in the woods?” I been practicing being still and quiet, an’ you said I’m good at it even. How come that’s not enough?”
“There’s nothing to be afraid of in the woods …but your self. Our peoples have always done this, your mom did it, your pa too. I did it and your grandma.”
“But, but I’m not as brave as you guys…”
“You don’t have to be brave, but you do need courage,”
“That’s what you always say. What’s the difference? I’m scared to be by myself in the woods!”
“The brave are too stupid to be scared, to have courage is to face your fears and not let them stop you from doing what you have to do. Bravery is blinding, courage shows you who you are.”
Many times did this conversation occur between them, and this time like all the others, the matter was left unresolved. The resolution, as destined, did one day come and it happened like this, the grandfather took gravely ill, the rural doctor was called and strongly recommended he go to the hospital in the city, but her grandpa refused. All morning friends and family visited to help look after him, each trying to convince him to go to the hospital.
“No.”
he would weakly but adamantly tell them again and over again, often adding,
“If it’s my time it’s my time, and if it ain’t it ain’t and it’s as simple as that. I ain’t got but one regret in my life, it’s a big one, but I did my best the best I could, as the One Who Watches Over knows…”
and those who knew him well also knew there was no convincing the old man neither left nor right, nor up nor down once he makes mention of the One Who Watches Over. But, on schedule, according to Destiny, an ornery relative came for visit. An argument ensued ending with the ornery relative storming out of the room boiling over with frustration,
“Stubborn stupid ol’ fool’s gonna die a stubborn stupid ol’ fool! An’ what the hell’s gonna happen to her? Didn’t even have enough sense to give his grandchild a name!”
The plate she had been washing crashed onto the floor. The ornery relative went into the kitchen,
“What’s goin’ on in here?”
the only answer was the screen door whacking shut. Through the window the girl with no name was seen tearing toward the wood.
There was no thought, no intent, just a big feeling. A big mess of feeling it was… threatening it was… overwhelming it was… and surely would it devour her if she did not act …and the only act available was to RUN …so run she did ...strong and fast she ran ...as if for her life she ran…
…Had the girl with no name known she was going to end up in the wood, she would have run hard and fast in a different direction! But it was too late now. She was deep in the wood …alone and full of fear. Disoriented and fatigued she ambled weak-kneed in the circle of a small clearing. Despite the overwhelming mess of feeling, to which was added her angst of being alone in the wood, she found herself softly repeating,
“Just sit down, just sit down, just sit down,”
It was her own voice, but also somehow more than her own voice,
“Okay, okay, okay…”
she heard herself answering herself as she sat down. She told herself,
“Let’s just be quiet…”
“Okay, okay, okay…”
she answered.
The first to show up were two crows. They alighted in a tree that was West. She saw them land. She saw their beauty. She saw that rainbows secretly shimmered in their midnight-black feathers. They preened themselves and took turns watching her. All of a sudden, at the trunk of the tree, a bear appeared! The girl with no name was frozen in her fright. She closed her eyes afraid to look upon it. The bear was breathing huskily swaying back and forth, remaining at the edge of the clearing. The girl with no name opened her eyes and saw the bear looking at her, then slowly in a friendly sort of way it began to rub against the tree trunk to scratch an itch it could not reach.
“H-he, he’s a n-nice bear…”
she nervously hope/thought. A snorting! -and at the North edge of the clearing a bull moose appeared! It’s antlers twice wider than she was tall! It snorted again scraping hoof against the ground. It was more imposing than the bear… but it did not enter the clearing. Noble and majestic stood the watching moose at the clearing's edge.
Her heart was thumping so loud! She could feel it pounding in her chest as if it was going to burst out into the open! Then, there was a rustling and a funny clucking-growl to the South, and at the clearing’s edge was a badger! It was big for a badger, but young and playful, rolling over itself seeming not to notice the girl or the other animals. It was cute in its self-absorbed antics, but when it sometimes looked over to her, she saw its face markings gave it an appearance quite fierce and quickly would she look away. The girl with no name then felt a presence behind her, which was the direction to the East. She didn’t hear it but she knew it was there …could feel it watching her. She turned her head slowly to look behind... and there, svelte in form and petrifying in gaze was a puma! It too stayed at the edge of the clearing, watching her intently. The girl with no name turned her head back straight and sunk it between her hunched shoulders. Was she going to die? She felt so foreign …foreign to herself, and the wood, and the animals watching her.
They obviously knew she didn’t belong there. How dare she enter here! Our home! We will show her what happens to frightened little girls who stupidly enter our world!
Such was the feeling thought of her ignorance, her self-doubt, and her fear being projected onto her novel and extraordinary experience. Novel and extraordinary and …quiet.
It was so quiet it was as if the entire wood was still… so quiet it was: m-i-r-a-c-u-l-o-u-s …she felt as if transposed into a safe magical bubble of quiet; the big mess of feeling was still there, but outside the bubble… her fear of the wood was there, but it was outside the bubble too; the wood itself however, and the crows, the bear, the elk, puma and badger… were inside the bubble with her! And her grandfather was there! -the memory, teaching her how to be still and quiet… she was remembering… remembering what she had practiced at home safe in her room… and that feeling was now with her here in the wood…
“It’s noisy gran’pa!”
she would complain of the sounds coming through the window, birds arguing on the eave, the wind whipping through the leaves of the big elm, a lonely crop plane overhead, and the far away growl of a neighbor’s tractor…
“Yes, it’s noisy, but the quiet never goes away. Just like thoughts come and go, but your head never goes away. You move things about in your room but the space in your room stays the same. It’s like that with the quiet. Sounds come an’ go, move ‘round an’ about, but the quiet is always there. Keep practicing.”
She was aware of the all-embracing quiet now. How, she knew not. It just happened, she just realized as she realized it. Just as her grandfather said, the quiet is always there (here). The animals, except for badger playing with herself, were quiet. The girl with no name was quiet. The wood was quiet. Softly, beautifully, sacredly quiet. Then: she heard… Boom-bump, Boom-bump, Boom-bump, Boom-bump, Boom-bump… She heard the Drum! Boom-bump, Boom-bump, Boom-bump, Boom-bump, Boom-bump… She… heard…the… Drum… and the Drum... was… her… Heart!? Her heart -Boom-bump- was the Drum!? The Drum -Boom-bump- was her heart! It’s beating was different now, no longer —fearful, but calm, strong, steady, alive!
“Gran’pa how will I know when my song is coming?”
“Well, some hear the Drum first. That’s how it was for your Gran’ma, or so she told me.”
Boom-bump, Boom-bump, Boom-bump… She heard the Heart-Drum… and she was aware of the all-embracing quiet… then: The Voice came. Softly and far away at first, but ever closer it came, in rhythm with the Drum that was her Heart it came… repeating… a melody of surety… of innocence and strength… of un-knowing wisdom... and of comforting familiarity! Naturally did the girl with no name let the song come. From within and without simultaneously it came… until seamlessly did the Song merge with her breath to become the sound of her voice. And she sang the Song. Seamlessly did the Song merge with her body. And she danced the Song.
Badger stopped playing and watched, the two crows watched, bear and moose and puma watched …quietly …approvingly …and bear, satisfied, lumbered away …and moose, satisfied, stepped away …and puma, satisfied, leapt back into the shadowed wood …and badger, satisfied, returned to her den. The two crows were satisfied also, but they remained, watching the girl sing/dance her Song.
Her singing and dancing ended softly and naturally enfolded into the quiet. She felt refreshed and wonderfully alive …and …fearless! She turned to look upon the animals that they might witness her fearlessness and to show them her gratitude but only the crows were there to witness. Why only the crows?
Suddenly the clearing was aglow! A Presence stepped forth from the wood. The girl with no name was astonished at the beauty of the Old Woman who was suddenly there, whose smile was so warm it dispelled all thought and feeling except peace, whose hair and garb was so white, it would have stung her eyes to blindness had she not looked away, whose gaze was so impenetrably knowing that could it be met, she would instantaneously disappear in an explosion of ten-thousand awe filled death-sparks fading into the Infinite.
“Thank You, Child, For That Song!”
She heard The Old Woman speak with ordinary friendliness. The girl with no name dared to lift her eyes and saw what then seem to be but an ordinary old woman dressed in drab grey,
“Umm, you’re welcome? W-who are you?”
“I’m Your Grandmother.”
“My grandmother?!”
“I’m Everybody’s Grandmother To Tell The Truth!”
the old woman chuckled.
The girl with no name immediately was aware that she was before the Answer to any and everything she could ever wish to know.
“You Were Just Looking As If Something Was On Your Mind, A Question Perhaps?
Please Share It With Me!”
The girl with no name’s mind was peaceful even as it was full of awe; and her heart, even as it was full of wonder, it was sublimely content, so she lost the feeling of her question. But after a moment, a remembrance,
“Oh! I- I was wondering, just before -um before you came, Grandmother, why…”
she felt slightly shy and embarrassed,
“Why What?”
the Grandmother of All asked, transmitting confidence to the girl with no name,
“Well the animals were all watching me, and as I was singing and dancing, they all left …except the two crows. Why are the two crows still here?”
“Ah, Those are your Allies.”
“Allies?”
“Your Friends. Your Helpers.”
“My helpers?”
“Oh Yes, We All Need A Little Help Every Now And Then, Right?”
“Um, yes…”
“You See, Now That You Know Your Song, Your Life Can Go In A good Way. But, There Is Always A Danger In This World My Dear, Even If You Have Your Song To Guide You.”
“The crows will help me if I’m in danger?”
“Not If, When.”
The Grandmother of All corrected,
“Now That You Know Your Song, You Are In Danger Of Forgetting Your Song.”
“Oh, I will never forget my Song!”
“Humph! That’s What They All Say… And Alas My Dear, They ALL Forget.”
“I don’t want to ever forget my Song Grandmother!”
“Well, Well ...Don’t Panic, That’s Why Your Friends Are Sticking Around.”
“The crows…”
“Yes, They Will Show Up When You Have Forgotten Or Are Even Close To Forgetting Your Song. The Two Of Them Will, And That’s How You’ll Know, They Will Show Up Together. And When They Show Up Together, You’ll Remember, ‘Oh, My Song’, And When You Remember your Song, You’ll Sing It And As You Sing It You’ll Remember Me, And As You Remember Me,
You’ll Remember This I Tell You Now:
Such Is So, and So Is Such, And Everything, Is Everything!
“And, When You Remember That, Whatever Has Caused You Such Trouble That You Forgot Or Are In Danger Of Forgetting Your Song, Will Be Remedied.
Now, I shan’t Tarry Any Longer And Will Be On My Way, But If You Please, As I leave, I’d like To Hear You Sing…”
“Wait! Grandmother, please…”
“What is it my dear?”
“A name! My name! Gran’pa says I get a name when I know my Song! I need a name so I can go to school!”
“Well Now, If You’re Asking Me, Which You Obviously Are, From Everything I Have Witnessed, Feels Proper To Me To Call You
Wanita Loro Gagak --
Which Means:
Two Crows Woman --
Who Is:
The One who Remembers her Song.
Speaking Of, Please, Wanita Loro Gagak, Sing For Me Again As I Take My Leave.”
The girl who was now Two Crows Woman closed her eyes and sang and danced her Song for the Grandmother of All who, when she opened her eyes after finishing, was gone.
Finding she spontaneously knew the way,
Two Crows Woman headed straight back home keenly wanting to tend her gran’pa and tell him her experience and her name. Very light in foot her running, with the two crows on wing following.
Bounding into the kitchen she was surprised to run right into the barrel chest of her grandfather. Astonished, she demanded,
“What’r you doin’ outta bed?!”
“I’m hungry and fixin’ sumthin’ t’ eat.”
“You’re all better?!”
“Feels that way. I sure thought I was on my way to the Sky beyond the sky when they told me you run away… right fainted I did.
But I had a dream, your ma an’ pa an’ gran’ma come to me just a smilin’ they were, an’ I say well I’m comin’ to be with you all, but they shook their heads no and
pointed me Eastward…
and there you were dancing with these two crows…
I woke feelin’ right ‘n’ fine ...except for this terrible hunger.”
he grabbed his granddaughter’s small hands,
“So, tell me, you went an’ got your Song, didn’t you?”
“Yes, gran’pa! Ooh I was so scared at first, ‘cause bear, an’ badger, an’ moose, an’ puma an’ the two crows showed up to watch! And the Grandmother of All come too!
She gave me the name Two Crows Woman!
Soooo I’m ready to go to school!”
“Two Crows Woman!?”
her grandfather slapped his leg,
“That’s a right powerful name! You can’t have much trouble follow you with a name like that! The heck with leftovers let’s get in the truck an’ head to Mrs. B’s!”
Mrs. B’s was a local eatery, famous for their pies and where most everyone in town would go if there was something to celebrate.
As they drove to town the grandfather told his granddaughter,
“Well, now that you got your name, you know what that means right?”
“Means I can go to school!”
“Yep, an’ what else?”
“I can get a smart phone!”
“Uh huh, if you do good …but what else?”
“What else? I don’t know, what?”
“Means you won’t have trouble findin’ a good husband when the time comes!”
Two Crows Woman was shocked into quiet. Her grandfather asked,
“What’s wrong?”
After a long moment of silence, Two Crows Woman told her grandfather,
“I don’t need no stupid husband!”
“Not a stupid husband but a good one! -one who can be a help for you,”
“I don’t need no help from a husband!”
“Oh, well, umm …what if a potential husband needs help from you?”
“Well, he better know his Song before he comes lookin’ for my help! —that’s all I have t’ say!”
Two Crows Woman’s grandfather let out a guffaw as he slapped his leg. He smiled all the way to town, very happy to hear such confidence from his granddaughter, and very, very grateful to the
Grandmother of All.
